AVOIDING A BAD MARRIAGE

AVOIDING A BAD MARRIAGE.
By Pastor Chris Oyakhilome PhD.

After salvation, the most important choice you will need to make is who to marry. This choice is so important that if you miss it, you will *suffer for long, if you get it right then you will enjoy forever. A bad marriage can affect every other area of your life.

This subject is so important, so many married people are hoping to be single again so as to make the right choice. If you are single please
don’t just be in a hurry to get married, you have the best opportunity to prepare for it.

For two people to come together to live in peace and harmony, they must agree spiritually, mentally and physically. Just like an elephant cannot marry an ant so also a believer cannot marry an unbeliever. If an elephant marries an ant how
would they live, if a goat marries a fish where would they meet? You must look for a Godly man or a Godly woman to marry, nothing can beat this. The devil’s primary target is the family. He knows that everyone belongs to a family and if he can make two wrong people meet then he has succeeded affecting the community and nations negatively. Ignore your age and the pressure for a moment, the pressure in a wrong marriage is far worse.

God has somebody for you but you must set your priorities right. What do you need in a woman? What do you need in a man?

Marriage is not about what you want, it is about who you need, that will make you better while you make him better. It is about *destiny. That is why you must know your purpose before you get married. Genesis 2:18.

You must pray before you choose. God knows the best person for you, it is only wise to seek His will. It is very easy to know God’s will when sex is not involved. The moment sex is involved and you want to know His will then He will blank you out. Why? Because you have broken His first Law of NO SEX before marriage. If you have had sex in the past then you need to repent totally and stay away from each other for sometime then you can seek the face of God. Your marriage will not be hell on earth. Your marriage will be honourable in the name of Jesus Christ.

Don’t marry for sex, don’t marry because you are of age, don’t marry because you are getting old, don’t marry because you are lonely, don’t marry because you need someone to support you financially, don’t marry out of pity, don’t marry because you mistakenly got
pregnant, don’t marry because you don’t want to lose the person, don’t marry because of family pressures, don’t marry because you like the idea of marriage and admire every wedding gown you see, don’t marry because all your friends are getting married. But get married because you want to fulfil destiny. Get married because you want to be a help mate. As a man, get married because you want to fulfil your purpose. God will help you in choosing, please let His will be done. Amen!

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WHO IS YOUR FRIEND?

There was a day I was reading a yoruba book, a story of a mouse and its babes. One of the babies told their mother that it wanted to play outside the hole, but it was not too long before it left the hole that it rushed in again trembling. The mother asked in fearful Voice the reason of its trembling. The mouse baby said "I saw an animal, a beautiful one indeed; it has a shinning body with a shinning eyes and a long tail. I love the animal so much an I love to be its friend and follow it. But suddenly a bird made a fearful noise that made me to tremble. The fearful voice from this bird did not allow me to enjoy the company new friend, so I rushed inside the hole.
The mouse thank God and told its baby that the animal it saw was cat and the animal is their enemy but not their friend. The mouse told its baby that if it continued playing with it within some seconds, the animal will kill it.
But the bird was not your enemy, it only assisted you not to be killed by the animal, it was the noise and fearful voice made by this bird that saved you for being killed by that animal. Although, the loud voice of the truth gospel preachers and soul-winners is disturbing you, but they are after your soul for salvation it maybe you are a church leader or you occupy a special position in your church. Don’t think that this is the end.
Remember this Bible references Ephesians 5:10; IICorinthians 13:5. Many people love playing with their enemies and hate following their friends JESUS CHRIST IS YOUR FRIEND John. 15:13-15. He has laid down His life for everybody to follow. For He(Jesus) has died for the whole world.

If have everything in this world without Jesus, you are most to be pitied. ICorinthians 15:19.
Ways for wayout.
Note this calculation: Note your sin (Psalms 51:1-2) + Confess your sin (Psalms 32:3) and repent + accept God’s forgiveness (Psalms 32:1-2) + have a joyful experience (Psalms 32:11) equal TO EVERLASTING JOY (Here. 3:13; Job 11:13-15; Ephesians 2:8; John 3:16; 18; Romans 10:8-10).

PRAISE AND PRAYER EVANGELICAL MINISTRIES.

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RELATIONSHIP AND MARRIAGE FACTS:

1. It is better to remain single than to marry a bad wife/a bad husband. A happy single life is better than a sad married life.
2. In most cases, change takes place during courtship and not in marriage. If you cannot change your partner during courtship, do not expect any magic in marriage. In most cases, a bad character in courtship is worst in marriage.
3. A bad marriage is like hell on earth. Never you manage to marry somebody.
4. It is better to be single and wish to get married than to be married and wish to be single. God forbid.
5. Marry an imperfect person who is willing to work on his/her imperfection. This is the only type of person you can be patient with and also tolerate; not a person who does not take correction and therefore, not willing to change.
6. The biggest regret on earth is to regret why you married someone.
7. The biggest mistake on earth is to marry a wrong person you cannot cope with.
8. Do not play with marriage issue. This is because in marriage, you will spend the rest of your life with your spouse. So it is either you spend the rest of your life in pains and sadness and die a premature death or in happiness and joy and live long. Think about this.

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KNOWING AND FULFILLING GOD’S PURPOSE FOR YOUR LIFE

BIBLE STUDY
TOPIC: KNOWING AND FULFILLING GOD’S PURPOSE FOR YOUR LIFE
TEXT: JEREMIAH 29:11-14
INTRODUCTION
Knowing your purpose in life can be one of the most elusive things in life and very difficult to define. For many, knowing their purpose means being successful. It may seem that when you reach the place you have defined as success, it was not success at all. When this life is over, we will find that success is simply the fulfilling of God’s plans for your life. Ultimately, success for the Christians is fulfilling God’s plan for our lives and when this life is over, hearing "well done my good and faithful servant".

HOW TO KNOW GOD’S PURPOSE FOR YOUR LIFE
(JOSEPH (GEN. 37:5-9) AND DANIEL (DAN. 1:8,6))
Here are some of the ways by which one can know God’s purpose for his life :-
SEEK GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART (1 KINGS 8:61): For you to know the purpose of God for your life, you need to seek Him with all your heart by following and keeping His commands.
PRAY MUCH ABOUT IT TILL IT IS REVEALED TO YOU (1 CHRONICLES 4:10): Only the prayer life will invite God’s presence and God’s will brings an anointing. It is through knowing God in prayer that He is able to touch man’s condition and give wonderful divine revelations.
INDENTIFY YOUR GIFTS (PROVERBS 18:16): To accomplish the purpose of God in your life, God gives that will help you. So identify your gifts and talents to identify the purpose of God for your life. To identify your gifts and talents, (a) identify those things you are interested in, (b) the things you would naturally do with ease (c) the things you do with the purpose of God for one’s life. (1 Sam. 17:38-40).
THINK DEEP (DANIEL 1:8): To fulfill one’s purpose, you need to think deeper than your mates.

SOME TIPS TO FULFILLING YOUR PURPOSE IN LIFE (1 SAMUEL 17:26-50)
1. Don’t underestimate your potential (vs 32-37)

2. Never throw away an idea just because it seems impossible to you. Give it a chance (vs 38)

3. Never underestimate the value of an idea. Every positive idea has within it the potential for success if it is managed properly (vs 33)

4. There is nothing wrong with every good idea. Therefore never reject an idea because you won’t get the credit! God can do tremendous things through the person who doesn’t care about who get the credit (vs 37)

5. When you are committed to serving, God is committed to blessing you (vs 37)

6. Never give up believing for it is your faith that will give you the breakthrough you need (vs 37a)

7.There are those who add to your life, and there are those who subtract from it. Pay attention to those who add to you (vs 28-30)

8. God does not relate with a man except on the basis of a covenant. Pay attention to your covenant with God and make sure that you are faithful to it (vs 45-47)

9. You need good-willed people to get to where you are going. Learn to nurture and keep relationships that are clean and rewarding (vs 37)

10. Respect other people’s feelings and your feelings will be respected (vs 31)

11. Take a step (vs 40,48-49)

CONCLUSION
For the divine purpose of God to be fulfilled in your life, take note of the things that run through your mind, the things that give you concern, the likely contribution that God wants you to make to the society. Everyone is created to contribute something to the society. The scripture says "you are the salt of the earth, but if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by man (Matthew 5:13 NIV).

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UNDERSTANDING YOUR POTENTIAL 4.

There are many selves within you
that lie dormant, untapped and unused.
God is always looking for what is not yet visible. He expects to find
inside each person and thing He created more than is evident on the
outside. On the other hand, man is often satisfied with what he has—
or at least if not satisfied, he thinks there is nothing better. Thus he settles for what he has.
Therein lies the tragedy of life. The minute we begin to settle down
and be satisfied with what we have, we lose the possibility of revealing
what is really inside us. Too often we die without exploring the gifts,
abilities, and successes that lay hidden within us. Our thoughts, ideas, and possibilities are not used. We fail to realize the vast potential that is stored within us. We are like batteries in a radio that is never played—our potential is wasted.
SUPPOSE…
Suppose Shakespeare had died before he wrote his poems and
plays—the potential of Macbeth would have been buried. Suppose
Michelangelo had died before he painted the Sistine Chapel or DaVinci the Mona Lisa—the beauty of their paintings would have been lost.
Suppose Mozart had died with all that music in his bosom.
Suppose Moses had died before he saw the burning bush…Paul
before he met Jesus on the Damascus Road…Abraham before Isaac was born. How different the pages of Scripture and history would be.
Suppose Martin Luther had died without writing the thesis…Charles
Wesley without penning the hymns…John Wycliffe without translating the Bible into English. How different the history of the Church might have been.
Can you imagine how many great works of art, music, and literature
are buried in the graveyard near your house? Can you imagine how many
solutions to the problems we face today are buried with someone you knew? People die without getting out their full potential. They fail to use all that was stored in them for the benefit of the world.
DON’T DIE WITH MY THINGS!
I wonder what would have happened if your father had died before you were conceived or your mother before you were born. What would the world have lost if you had not been born? What will the world lack because you fail to live out your potential? Will you carry songs, books, inventions, cures, or discoveries to your grave?
What would the world have lost
if you had not been born?
Our teens are committing suicide. I wonder who they were supposed to be and what they were supposed to do that we will never know. Have we lost some great leaders? Was your grandchild’s professor or another Martin Luther King among them?
As the time for His crucifixion drew near, Jesus spoke of the potential principle in terms of His life. He compared Himself to a kernel of
wheat that falls into the ground and dies (John 12:23-24). A kernel of
wheat, when planted, yields many more kernels. Within Jesus was the
potential to bring millions of people to God. Thank God Herod didn’t
succeed when he tried to wipe out Jesus. If he had, Jesus would have
died before He could offer Himself as our atonement. His great purpose in life would have been wasted. The seed of His life was much more than His disciples could see. That one seed had the potential to give life to many.
There was a time early in his ministry when the apostle Paul said, “I’d like to leave.” Though he preferred to die and be with Christ, he knew his purpose in life had not been completely fulfilled. There was
yet much fruitful labor for him to do. It was necessary for the Church
that he continue to live. Thank God Paul did not die. The benefit of his wisdom would have been lost to the early Church and to us. His potential to write Colossians and Ephesians may have been forfeited.
Later, near his death, Paul wrote: “Timothy, I’ve run the race.
I’ve finished the course. I’ve kept the faith. I’ve done the work. My
award awaits me. I’m ready to die. Keep working after I’m gone” (see
2 Timothy 4:5-7). Everything in life has the potential to fulfill its
purpose. People who die without achieving their full potential rob their generation of their latent ability. Many have robbed me—they’ve also robbed you. To die with ability is irresponsible.
Perhaps you are wasting your life doing nothing with all you have.
God packaged some things in you for the good of the world—use them.
We will never know the wealth God planted in you until you bring it
up. There’s always something in you that we haven’t yet seen because
that’s the way God thinks. Release your ability before you die. Use the
power and strength within you for the good of yourself and others. I
believe there are books, songs, art works, businesses, poems, inventions, and investments in you that God intended for my children to
enjoy. Don’t give up until you have lived out the full extent of your
potential, because you have no right to die with my things. Don’t rob the
next generation of the wealth, treasure, and tremendous gifts buried deep within you.
If you want to succeed, strike out on new paths.
Don’t travel the worn paths of accepted success.
No man can climb beyond the limitations of his own
belief.
Every day sends to the grave obscure men and
women whom fear prevented from realizing their true and full potential.
Failure is not the absence of success. Failure is the
neglect of trying.
What you see is not all there is. There is something
in everything. What you have done is no longer your potential.
Potential is what you can do but have not yet done.
PRINCIPLES
God created everything with potential.
Nothing in life is instant.
Everything in life has the potential
to fulfill its purpose.
Don’t be satisfied with what you now are.
Don’t die without using your full potential.
The greatest threat to progress is your last successful accomplishment.

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